OSCARS round-up…

February 26, 2007 at 11:39 pm Leave a comment

Last night the 79th Academy Awards Ceremony, vigil, and all-night telethon aired on ABC. It started at 8:30 p.m. ET, and should be wrapping up sometime in early March.

 

Ellen

 

I’ll be dead honest, I only watched the opening and the last two hours. Still, putting in that kind of time deserves at least the bronze medal. Ellen DeGeneres opened the show in a red crushed velvet pant suits made out of Jack Nicholson’s old smoking jackets. Here are the rest of the highlights:

  • Downey Jr. gracefully took a “crack” at his own substance abuse. Either he’s developed a jovial twitch, or he still smokes rock.
  • During his presentation of the award for Best Documentary, some foreign dude (it mightv’e been a villain from Casino Royale) read “Whether long or short, it is what you do with it that counts” off the teleprompter. He tried to stifle laughter for the next minute and a half.
  • I almost ate it walking home last night from the train in the snow. Granted, I was wearing wool socks and adidas sandals.
  • I’m an hour into my viewing and so far you can’t buy a shot of Scarlett Johannson, or even Natalie Portman right now. Yet I can’t even count on one hand how many times I’ve seen Melissa Etheridge’s mug. Irresponsible.
  • The German guy who won Best Foreign Language Film of the Year just thanked Schwarzenegger? Am I halucinating?
  • I thought Cirque de Soleil would never work again after the abomination that was the SuperBowl pre-game. Wrong on all accounts.

cirque de soleil?

  • Just as I am starting to come down from a blood pressure spike during the 89 minute montage of foreign films that have won Oscars since color and subtitles were introduced, they welcome Celine Dion to the stage.
  • Celine, muted. I play a little Stairway to Heaven on the mandolin.
  • The annual rundown of movie people who passed away in 2006 (always informative). Most notably:

 

  • Bruno Kirby (City Slickers, Good Morning
    Vietnam
    , This is Spinal Tap)
  • The legend Don Knotts (Barney from The Andy Griffith Show
  • The dad from A Christmas Story
  • Joe Barbera
  • Gordon Park, the director of Shaft
  • James Doohan (Mr. Scott from Star Trek)
  • The 11-year old girl from Little Miss Sunshine, Abigail Breslin (she decided to end it after Celine Dion’s performance)

 

  • Reece Witherspoon. Outstanding.

the future mrs. curly

  • Jack Nicholson showed up tonight bald and wearing sunglasses (they’re either Versace or Blue Blockers; I can’t see straight anymore). He looks like a puffy Michael Stipe from R.E.M.’s Monster tour in 2005.

JN

  • The Departed wins Best Picture. Who saw this coming? Me. Babel was like watching paint dry.

 

  • Turns out bald Nicholson is currently filming a buddy picture with Morgan Freeman where they play two terminally ill men who escape from the cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die (c/o IMDB.com). You win this round Jack.

  Abigail Breslin

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Entry filed under: advice, good television.

Finetune… steady burn, vol. 1, ed. 1

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